Not too long ago Mr. Blair bowed out of office. not with that much pomp as you would think the American president would or for that matter the Nigerian president. He went with a wimper so faint you could have missed it on the 9 o'clock news. But that is how it should go. Particularly for someone who staked his political carreer on the preempted decision of a president not known for soundness of mind.
Tony had it all. Or so it seemed and Baby Leo did not mind the idea either, you know all that smooshing and pampering at Downing Street, a street that probably has the highest number of bootlickers in Europe, sorry next to the equivalent street in Rome, Italy. But he, Tony threw it all away. Come to think of it getting the job of British prime minister is no easy task. It is actually easier to lose the job. In Britain all it takes to kick a prime minister out is the queen's ears (not her hubby's they are a little outsized), she then whispers to a few MPs who whisper to a few party big shots and you are either out on the street with your reviewed resume or the party loses her seat at elections. Clean and tidy. And the beat goes on.
In the U.S, kicking the president out? Boy! you sure have some home work. First you get the world press, no kidding. You have to whip up this sentiment about how glorified the white house is and has been for a couple of centuries. Then you go through the dance of educating the press who already know where you are heading, about the importance of the U.S in the committy of nations on the globe, such that if the president of the U.S should sneeze, France, Britain, Saudi Arabia (excluding al Kaida, they don't give a damn), Egypt, Nigeria, Japan, China (they really don't catch fright they are too many, strength in number), India (working hard on their numbers), and even down yonder Australia should catch cold. Never mind the strength of the blast of sneeze that might be required.
When you are certain that the world pressmen and women have gotten the message and are placed in a good enough mental state to deliver the message to the citizenry with enough venorm, then you drop your voice a little and get the press to crane their necks cocking their ears real hard to hear you, you drop the over-hiped scandal, the bombshell. Uhm, be sure it has to do with sex or it will not work. If it has to do with people's children getting killed for no reason it won't work. If it has to do with war it won't work. Remember war is money to some of the bigshots at the white house.
This is just day one. On day two, keep it alive the other networks have not caught on. move away from Washington at this time so that you can be accessed by other networks who do not have the means to send their reporters to Washington where you might have had your world press conference or what ever name you choose to call. The Sex Cluster Bomb Scandal might be a good name for the scandal. Catchy. Now you are set to give speaches on morality never mind that you have nine children from fifteen women without ever proposing to even one of them and not even knowing where the children are or how they are coping with life. You are hot. There are some movie deals on the line so don't tune off.
You can live the rest to the U.S senate and the House of Representatives. Go home and watch tv. Do not attempt to believe what the experts say of your disclosure, they will contradict themselves long before you know it. some one will show up claiming to have a phd in the scandal. Go and hire a solicitor, get a cheap one or you will be going back to Harlem more broke than you came out. Remeber this is the end of your role. Don't ever imagine anything more than you have gotten. Keep in mind that George Bush can't get impeached for killing people's children beause it has nothing to do with sex.
You are now famous, get to your bankers.
Have a nice day.
abbah r. agor-agalanga
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